Tito And Dana Make Nice

The longtime rift between Tito Ortiz and Dana White appears to be over, according to Twitter. And if I can't believe something written on a social networking site, then I don't know what this world is coming to. Anyway, I think it went something like this...



Okay, that's good. Tito was the face of the UFC for a long time and I think he still has a little left in the tank. But Tito runs his mouth and the last I heard Tito wasn't welcome at the Expo for UFC 100. Dana?



Ah, confirmation. Tito hasn't fought since his loss to Lyoto Machida in his last UFC fight over a year ago. There is a rumor that he was negotiating a deal with Strikeforce (I do all my good research at Wikipedia), but there is nothing official. Tito seems eager to get back in the Octagon. So we might see him soon, right Dana?



Uh huh. So wait, is this news? Okay, I guess it is. It at least opens the door for a Tito Ortiz return to the Octagon. His problem is a loaded light-heavyweight division. Tito lost a unanimous decision to Machida but he was fairly impressive in the fight. Unfortunately, Machida has reached a whole new level of dominance since then. Plus there is Rampage, Rashad Evans, Forrest Griffin, Shogun and Anderson Silva can even fight at 205.

What the hell Dana. I say bring him back. He is, if nothing else, entertaining. And I'm curious to see if Jenna's face has completely melted off of her head by now. Haha, just kidding. How are the twins? Did you get the Little Einstein set I sent? You don't want those kids falling into drugs or fighting or porn. Er...

Jayson Werth's Golden Sombrero

Phillies All Star outfielder, Jayson Werth, resumed play last night with quite a poor performance. That's right, Jayson tried on the old Golden Sombrero going 0-4 with four strike outs. Let's recap. He went down looking in the 2nd against Volstad, swinging in the 4th against Volstad, looking again in the 6th still against Volstad, and finished it off swinging against Donnelly in the 8th. That's some bad hat Harry.

Even though I have Werth in a fantasy league, I was more disappointed to find out that the website goldensombrero.com doesn't actually track Golden Sombreros. It's a Yankees fan site that hasn't been updated since May. Damn. I don't think I'd be as upset if it turned out to be a site about people peeing on hats.

Arianny Gets Some Blog Love

While we anxiously await NFL training camps, I have to find something to fill some space around here. Since nobody tested positive for meth today, I figured we could get Arianny a little extra exposure. I'm sure she needs it. The Octagon girl extraordinaire is fresh off of UFC 100 and made her way into a couple of blogs today.

*Jimmy Traina has been talking up the UFC lately and finally caved to public demand to make Arianny the cover girl for today's Hot Clicks. Thank you Maxim.com for this and for the title, "She's MMA-zing." How do they do it? No wonder I'm writing for free.

*Meanwhile, Cagewriter found an opportunity for you to spend an hour with Arianny. You just have to be the winning bidder and then you co-host an hour of radio with her in Las Vegas. I'm positive if the auction was for _________ (anything other than co-host a radio show) with Arianny for an hour in Las Vegas, the bid would be a whole lot higher than $550 right now. Here is the link to bid on her or other UFC personalities. The highest bid right now is for an hour of profanity with Dana White.

*You can also stalk her on Twitter @AriannyCeleste (while you're at it, follow us too). Or check out her website Miss Arianny Celeste.

There, I feel like I've done my good deed for the day. How would people ever find pictures of scantily clad women that kind of have something to do with sports on the Internet without me? I deserve a drink.

Jeremy Mayfield Is BACK On The Meth

What does it take to get a NASCAR post around here? I was just waiting for a heartwarming story about a meth head driver gone straight and winning the big race. But, it looks like I will have to settle for meth head driver continues to enjoy meth. Jeremy Mayfield has once again tested positive for methamphetamines. Mayfield tested positive earlier this year and NASCAR is attempting to get his indefinite suspension reinstated after a court granted an injunction on the case. But my favorite part is coming up, right now...

Mayfield once again denied ever using the illegal drug.

"I don't trust anything NASCAR does, anything [program administrator] Dr. David Black does, never have, never will," Mayfield told The Associated Press in a phone interview.

An affidavit by Mayfield's stepmother, Lisa, said "she has personal knowledge of Mr. Mayfield using and even manufacturing methamphetamine, including his usage of methamphetamine before a race as far back as a decade ago."

I also hear that Mayfield said he could quit at any time. So, you know, get off his back. I love that the step-mom is totally throwing him under the bus. Either he wasn't sharing the NASCAR money or he ruined one too many bathtubs around the house.

I will extend a little credit to Mayfield. I've never known anyone addicted to meth to be able to sit still for 5-minutes let alone the 9-hours it takes for a NASCAR race. That's how long they take, right?

Well, that concludes our NASCAR coverage for the year.

UFC 100 Quick Picks

Okay, I didn't have time to play with any of the sabermetric UFC data today. I hope Rami will do an update with the results from tonight's fights, but I have no idea how long that might take.

We're only an hour outside UFC 100. So this isn't a preview or even in-depth predictions. I merely wanted to go on record with some picks. And they're boring too! Here's the parlay with prices and picks in bold...

Brock Lesner -250 vs. Frank Mir +195
Dan Henderson -250 vs. Michael Bisping +190
Yoshihiro Akiyama -250 vs. Alan Belcher +190
GSP -275 vs. Thiago Alves +215

Those lines are pretty high which makes me think there will be some big upsets and I will lose my dime. This is also the prime example of why this sports prediction site now comes with 94% less predictions.

UFC Gets The Sabermetric Treatment

It's no secret around these parts that I geek out a little bit for the statistical side of sports. The work that has been done with sabermetrics in baseball is simply amazing. After the statistical revolution in baseball, nerds across the country took it upon themselves to tackle some other sports. KC Joyner and the Football Outsiders are doing some interesting work for the NFL and I use Hollinger's stuff all over this site to show how much better LeBron is than Kobe.

Which brings us to my beloved UFC and this post from TBL intern Stephen Montemayor. The UFC and a huge database of statistical analysis? I got a sports-math boner just reading about that. Um, figuratively. Apparently, Rami Genauer has been hard at work over at Fight Metric and I haven't even noticed. Sorry Rami. But you will get your own tag now. Rami has just finished updating a database that breaks down every UFC fight since UFC 28. Wow. That's either the most dedicated, fascinating research ever or the most lonely, sad story I've ever heard. Either way, good for me. There is a ton of data to pour through but I'll try to play around with enough of it to get something posted before UFC 100.

Back to The Big Lead's post for a minute, Montemayor reached out to Rami and got some questions answered. Hey, here's one...

Q: What got you fired up to start FightMetric?

FightMetric really began as nothing more than a thought exercise. I was writing articles and columns about MMA and found it frustrating not to have any stats to use. Unless it’s a personality profile, nearly all good sports news articles will contain at least a few numbers. MMA had nothing. I took it as a challenge to try and imagine what an MMA statistics system would look like. The FightMetric system is the product of months of research and data analysis around how MMA fights actually work.

Rami has two types of reports. The first is an in-depth reports that covers all the action in an individual fight over 67 statistical categories. The other report is Total Performance Rating. TPR is a high-level view of a fighter's performance over the course of his UFC career. It is some really interesting data for your inner-nerd. Rami does supply the UFC with data in order makes some cash, so the public doesn't have unlimited access to the database. But there is still plenty of good stuff to check out. Seriously, go check check it out.

[The Big Lead]

[Fight Metric]

Shaq To Watch UFC 100. Fight In UFC 101?

Long time mixed martial arts fan and Twitter enthusiast, Shaq, is pretty pumped for Saturday night's blockbuster UFC 100.


See? You can tell he's excited because he uses his "fighta sound". We have something in common here. Shaq's "fighta sound" is identical to my "lost my car keys and I'm late to a meeting sound". Very intense.

Foul mouthed UFC President Dana White was quick to respond to the big man's tweet. Why no love for my tweets, Dana? I can add more profanity.


Okay, that one isn't a whole lot of fun. We all know Shaq is the man. I don't know about five exclamation points, but still.

Ah, but Shaq wasn't done. He has some big plans for UFC 101.


Now we're talking. Shaq has actually been training in a variety of mixed martial arts for the past tens years. Unfortunately for Shaq, but mainly us, the UFC 101 card is already full. Well that, and the Big Aristotle would have to cut a little weight to make the heavyweight division. He'd have about a month to lose a just under an Olsen twin.

That could happen. He could sleep in a sauna wearing garbage bag pj's. But that stick in the mud Dana White had another qualifier.


So there you go. Dana White predicts the Cavs will win the NBA championship next season and we should expect Shaq in the Octagon in about a year. Thanks Dana!

And thank you, Twitter. There is no end to the ridiculous stuff written on you.

Now Denis Leary, He Hates Kobe

Yes, Kobe Bryant is a great basketball player. Yes, he is enormously popular. He reclaimed the top spot in jersey sales this past season. I have plenty of friends who are big Kobe fans. He just isn't as good as LeBron James. The more I argued this point with stats and logic, the more I was labeled a Kobe hater. The playoffs were not kind to me. But in the regular season, LeBron crushed Kobe in Hollinger's PER and VA (basketball VORP). I don't hate Kobe. I just don't think he deserved the MVP two seasons ago or to finish second this past season.

Now Denis Leary, he hates Kobe. Leary went through the ESPN carwash today, which involves hosting a chat. Here are the highlights (for the purpose of this post anyway)...

tim (albuquerque)
are you a big basketball fan if so how did you feel about this season and what do you think the biggest offseason move has been?

Denis Leary (12:39 PM)
Huge basketball fan. Huge Celtics fan. Desperately wanted LeBron to win the championship. Hate Kobe. Hate the Lakers. Hate Phil Jackson. Hate Jack Nicholson. Hate Kobe. Hate Kobe. Hate Kobe.

And signed off with...

Denis Leary(12:41 PM)
Ice Age 3 is, completely unbiased opinion, quite possibly the greatest movie ever made. Why We Suck is, again completely unbiased opinion, quite possibly the greatest book ever written. Rescue Me, the greatest TV show ever seen in the history of mankind. Hate Kobe. Hate Kobe. Hate Kobe.

I knew I always liked Denis Leary. I just thought it was because of the drinking and Comics Come Home or possibly The Ref. But no, it's deeper than that. I admire his unbridled, blind hatred of Kobe. It's quite impressive.

Denis, the next round is on me. Bring Cam Neely.

UFC 100 Gets Sexier

I think we can all agree that the UFC 100 card on Saturday night looks phenomenal on paper. Not only do we get Brock Lesnar and Frank Mir for the heavyweight title plus Georges St. Pierre and Thiago Alves for the welterweight title, but the rest of the card is stacked. Look. But you knew that already.

Well, Dana White is spicing up what's going on outside the Octagon too. Holly Madison, who was one of the "Girls Next Door" in Playboy's reality show, will be an honorary ring girl come Saturday night. Madison will join the amazing Arianny and the other two ring girls (there are others?).

Holly Madison, if memory serves, was the one trying to get Hef to marry her. Gross? Check. Possibly conniving? We can only hope. Apparently, Madison is a big fan of the UFC and is looking forward to being a ring girl. Is that enough for me to overlook her fling with Criss Angel? Hmm, it's close. She does look good in the uniform (via Dana's vlog starting around 1:12).



I didn't need another reason to watch, but thanks Dana. Good lookin' out.

[MMA Junkie]

Happy Fourth!

Well, happy Fourth of July to all of our American readers. Move along Canada and Japan, nothing to see here. Although, I am very curious to see how my nonsense translates into various Asian languages. The sports world had to deal with some sadness today. So if you can still read this, you're doing something wrong. Go drink more. And I like my steak medium rare, I'll be there in half an hour.

What do I want for the Fourth of July? Keeley Hazell. I'll be waiting by the chimney, Uncle Sam. That's how it works, right?

Good luck with those hangovers tomorrow.

Steve McNair 1972-2009

On a day of celebration, the sports world mourns the loss of Steve McNair. McNair was found dead after suffering a fatal gunshot wound in downtown Nashville. Details are still scarce.

McNair shared the MVP in 2003 and was the definition of toughness. McNair was only 36-years-old and was found dead with a yet to be identified female.

What a sad summer this has been. It's like a celebrity version of Final Destination, except without the vision of a plane crash and Ali Larter.

Our thoughts go out to McNair's friends and family.

Bee Swarm Takes Over For Padres In Left, Impresses

Aside from slugging first baseman Adrian Gonzalez, the San Diego Padres have had a very unremarkable season so far. But the Padres finally figured out how to deliver some excitement to their fans at Petco Park. Bee swarm Thursdays! During the ninth inning, a few thousand bees made their way into left field looking for a good time and causing a 52-minute delay. A beekeeper arrived 47 minutes after the game was delayed and quickly cleared the swarm. Luckily, Padres Groundskeeper Willie had the beekeeper's number on his speed dial. Really, speed dial? You don't have a lot to worry about, do you San Diego?

The bee swarm was actually more productive than the Padres starting left fielder. Bee swarm = extra 52-minutes, Kyle Blanks = 0-4 with a strikeout.

[Un-bee-lieveable: Yahoo Headline]

Site News

I know you must be wondering how much lazier and sporadic my posting can get around here. And, honestly, my laziness knows no bounds. I do have an excuse for the past week though. I recently relocated the MTD HQ from Atlanta to New Orleans. When the Atlanta Steam moved to Charlotte, I knew it was time for change. I mean, what kind of city was I living in that wouldn't even allow a Lingerie Football League team to play at one of its venues? And dammit, I want to be able to buy booze on a Sunday morning from the local Walmart.

So, I should be able to get back stalking the Lingerie Football League and covering the latest in sports shenanigans on a more regular basis now.

Out Of Office Reply

Alright, we're taking off early today to catch some of the Yankees and Braves BP. The good news is that I'm going to catch another one of Tommy Hanson's starts. The bad news is I'll have way too much time to tailgate. So don't expect a wrap-up any better than this.

I do plan on trying to Tweet from the game if I can figure out how that works on my crappy phone. And I will be spending some time up at the 755 Club bar watching the LSU game. Geaux drinking Tigers!

MVP Puppet Parody

The guys over at Jersey Chaser have a twisted sense of humor. That's good enough for us. Most of you remember being annoyed by the LeBron and Kobe puppet commercials for Nike. Well, JC had their own take on the series...



Good times. Although, I don't think they have much of a future writing ads for Nike. Or the cookie industry.

[Jersey Chaser, more vids]

Ochocinco's Offseason Highlights

It's that dreaded slow time of the sporting year, except for sexy lawsuits and enormous pot busts. Luckily, we have all the entertainment we can handle via Chad Ochocinco. That's right, keep running your mouth you precious crackpot. Anyway, I figured we could take a look at some of his zanier antics this offseason.

5. Ochocinco wants to fight Solomon Wilcots
Sure, Wilcots criticized the play of 85 for the 2008 season. Chad just wasn't very good. But he doesn't like criticism and he's on Twitter...

They always find a way to say something negative no matter how focused i am, damn Solomon Wilcox, i want to fight him now, somebody set itup

We'll revisit this theme in a minute.

4. Ochocinco gets a facial tattoo of Florida
Sometimes when you're a man in your thirties, it's time to get something permanently drawn on your face. You know you've been sitting in your cubical and thought, "You know what would look good? If I had Wisconsin tattooed on my cheek." But just as I was contemplating getting Louisiana tatted on my face, he said it was a fake tattoo. Maybe next year.





3. Ochocinco and Carson Palmer are like "Brokeback Mountain"
Yeah, he said that. Here...

I know people are trying to say we’re mad at each other and all that, but we’re good,” he told Bengals.com. “We’re like Brokeback Mountain. I’m going to be with Carson so much in July that I’m going to be the nanny [for his new twins].

I wonder if 85 saw that movie. Um, does he not realize that he is the catcher in that relationship? I'm sure he just meant they would ride horses around downtown Cincinnati and kill hobos. That's what cowboys do, right? Either way, Mrs. Palmer made it clear that Ochocinco isn't getting a spare room.

2. Ochocinco wants to fight Mike Golic
Dude is pretty tough behind the keyboard, isn't he? Well, so am I. I'll be announcing my desire to fight Mike Greenberg on my Twitter, right after this post. Anyway, from OchoTwitter...

Oh it's on again, I want to fight Mike Golic now, always got something negative to say, how about this, you've gained all that weight you lost back!!!!

and

Golic If y'all don't shut up I am gonna retire and come take over your damn show, keep it up!!!!

I like this one because it sounds like he's calling out Golic, ESPN, and NutriSystem all at once. I like your style.

1. Ochocinco predicts the Bengals are playoff bound
Ah, blissful delusion. Let's go to the quote...

"It’s going to be a great year; we’re going to the playoffs,” Ochocinco said. “We’re making progress. I mean, I see it, and I can come out on a limb and say what we’re going to do."

Alright, I know it's the NFL and anything can happen. I just don't see the Bengals in the playoffs. Plus (and sadly) I've been reading too many of 85's Tweets and he eats a lot of McDonalds. That'll catch up to you. I can barely make it through a double quarterpounder without a nap.

Let me know if I missed your favorite and keep in mind that there is plenty of time before the season starts.

NHLers Invested Sweet Cash For MLBers Porn Parties

The ever reliable TMZ is reporting that a group of NHL players had their millions swindled for some kick-ass sounding MLB parties...

14 major NHL hockey players are suing a developer named Kenneth Jowdy for allegedly screwing them out of millions of dollars -- and then blowing the cash on escorts, strippers and private jet rides for some of the biggest names in Major League Baseball history.

The money that the NHLers invested was allegedly going to be used to build a luxury golf course and resort. Instead it was used on parties filled with 5-star hotels, jets, porn stars, and strippers. The suit alleges that attendees of said parties included Roger Clemens, Reggie Jackson, Pete Rose, and Joe Morgan. Morgan has already denied the allegations.

I got five that says Jose Canseco was somehow involved and will be naming names in no time. What, they couldn't at least have invited the hockey players to a couple of parties? Hockey players like to drink. They even like strippers.

Look for this story to be on every sports blog ever tomorrow.

[TMZ]

Former Mountain Bike Champ Rolls With 200 Lbs Of Pot

Former mountain bike national title holder (they have that?), Missy "The Missle" Giove, was arrested after authorities seized 200 pounds of marijuana from her truck. Clearly, the professional mountain bike association needs a better pension plan. Or perhaps she was just seeking out something as heartpounding and as exciting as riding her little bike around after retiring.

Giove's coconspirator, Eric Canori, also had 150 pounds of weed and over $1 million in cash seized from his home. No word if he ever rode a bicycle. Giove and Canori are in federal custody and are being charged with conspiracy to distribute 100 kilograms of pot.

Nate Newton nods head in approval.