Now Denis Leary, He Hates Kobe

Yes, Kobe Bryant is a great basketball player. Yes, he is enormously popular. He reclaimed the top spot in jersey sales this past season. I have plenty of friends who are big Kobe fans. He just isn't as good as LeBron James. The more I argued this point with stats and logic, the more I was labeled a Kobe hater. The playoffs were not kind to me. But in the regular season, LeBron crushed Kobe in Hollinger's PER and VA (basketball VORP). I don't hate Kobe. I just don't think he deserved the MVP two seasons ago or to finish second this past season.

Now Denis Leary, he hates Kobe. Leary went through the ESPN carwash today, which involves hosting a chat. Here are the highlights (for the purpose of this post anyway)...

tim (albuquerque)
are you a big basketball fan if so how did you feel about this season and what do you think the biggest offseason move has been?

Denis Leary (12:39 PM)
Huge basketball fan. Huge Celtics fan. Desperately wanted LeBron to win the championship. Hate Kobe. Hate the Lakers. Hate Phil Jackson. Hate Jack Nicholson. Hate Kobe. Hate Kobe. Hate Kobe.

And signed off with...

Denis Leary(12:41 PM)
Ice Age 3 is, completely unbiased opinion, quite possibly the greatest movie ever made. Why We Suck is, again completely unbiased opinion, quite possibly the greatest book ever written. Rescue Me, the greatest TV show ever seen in the history of mankind. Hate Kobe. Hate Kobe. Hate Kobe.

I knew I always liked Denis Leary. I just thought it was because of the drinking and Comics Come Home or possibly The Ref. But no, it's deeper than that. I admire his unbridled, blind hatred of Kobe. It's quite impressive.

Denis, the next round is on me. Bring Cam Neely.

UFC 100 Gets Sexier

I think we can all agree that the UFC 100 card on Saturday night looks phenomenal on paper. Not only do we get Brock Lesnar and Frank Mir for the heavyweight title plus Georges St. Pierre and Thiago Alves for the welterweight title, but the rest of the card is stacked. Look. But you knew that already.

Well, Dana White is spicing up what's going on outside the Octagon too. Holly Madison, who was one of the "Girls Next Door" in Playboy's reality show, will be an honorary ring girl come Saturday night. Madison will join the amazing Arianny and the other two ring girls (there are others?).

Holly Madison, if memory serves, was the one trying to get Hef to marry her. Gross? Check. Possibly conniving? We can only hope. Apparently, Madison is a big fan of the UFC and is looking forward to being a ring girl. Is that enough for me to overlook her fling with Criss Angel? Hmm, it's close. She does look good in the uniform (via Dana's vlog starting around 1:12).



I didn't need another reason to watch, but thanks Dana. Good lookin' out.

[MMA Junkie]

Happy Fourth!

Well, happy Fourth of July to all of our American readers. Move along Canada and Japan, nothing to see here. Although, I am very curious to see how my nonsense translates into various Asian languages. The sports world had to deal with some sadness today. So if you can still read this, you're doing something wrong. Go drink more. And I like my steak medium rare, I'll be there in half an hour.

What do I want for the Fourth of July? Keeley Hazell. I'll be waiting by the chimney, Uncle Sam. That's how it works, right?

Good luck with those hangovers tomorrow.

Steve McNair 1972-2009

On a day of celebration, the sports world mourns the loss of Steve McNair. McNair was found dead after suffering a fatal gunshot wound in downtown Nashville. Details are still scarce.

McNair shared the MVP in 2003 and was the definition of toughness. McNair was only 36-years-old and was found dead with a yet to be identified female.

What a sad summer this has been. It's like a celebrity version of Final Destination, except without the vision of a plane crash and Ali Larter.

Our thoughts go out to McNair's friends and family.

Bee Swarm Takes Over For Padres In Left, Impresses

Aside from slugging first baseman Adrian Gonzalez, the San Diego Padres have had a very unremarkable season so far. But the Padres finally figured out how to deliver some excitement to their fans at Petco Park. Bee swarm Thursdays! During the ninth inning, a few thousand bees made their way into left field looking for a good time and causing a 52-minute delay. A beekeeper arrived 47 minutes after the game was delayed and quickly cleared the swarm. Luckily, Padres Groundskeeper Willie had the beekeeper's number on his speed dial. Really, speed dial? You don't have a lot to worry about, do you San Diego?

The bee swarm was actually more productive than the Padres starting left fielder. Bee swarm = extra 52-minutes, Kyle Blanks = 0-4 with a strikeout.

[Un-bee-lieveable: Yahoo Headline]

Site News

I know you must be wondering how much lazier and sporadic my posting can get around here. And, honestly, my laziness knows no bounds. I do have an excuse for the past week though. I recently relocated the MTD HQ from Atlanta to New Orleans. When the Atlanta Steam moved to Charlotte, I knew it was time for change. I mean, what kind of city was I living in that wouldn't even allow a Lingerie Football League team to play at one of its venues? And dammit, I want to be able to buy booze on a Sunday morning from the local Walmart.

So, I should be able to get back stalking the Lingerie Football League and covering the latest in sports shenanigans on a more regular basis now.

Out Of Office Reply

Alright, we're taking off early today to catch some of the Yankees and Braves BP. The good news is that I'm going to catch another one of Tommy Hanson's starts. The bad news is I'll have way too much time to tailgate. So don't expect a wrap-up any better than this.

I do plan on trying to Tweet from the game if I can figure out how that works on my crappy phone. And I will be spending some time up at the 755 Club bar watching the LSU game. Geaux drinking Tigers!

MVP Puppet Parody

The guys over at Jersey Chaser have a twisted sense of humor. That's good enough for us. Most of you remember being annoyed by the LeBron and Kobe puppet commercials for Nike. Well, JC had their own take on the series...



Good times. Although, I don't think they have much of a future writing ads for Nike. Or the cookie industry.

[Jersey Chaser, more vids]

Ochocinco's Offseason Highlights

It's that dreaded slow time of the sporting year, except for sexy lawsuits and enormous pot busts. Luckily, we have all the entertainment we can handle via Chad Ochocinco. That's right, keep running your mouth you precious crackpot. Anyway, I figured we could take a look at some of his zanier antics this offseason.

5. Ochocinco wants to fight Solomon Wilcots
Sure, Wilcots criticized the play of 85 for the 2008 season. Chad just wasn't very good. But he doesn't like criticism and he's on Twitter...

They always find a way to say something negative no matter how focused i am, damn Solomon Wilcox, i want to fight him now, somebody set itup

We'll revisit this theme in a minute.

4. Ochocinco gets a facial tattoo of Florida
Sometimes when you're a man in your thirties, it's time to get something permanently drawn on your face. You know you've been sitting in your cubical and thought, "You know what would look good? If I had Wisconsin tattooed on my cheek." But just as I was contemplating getting Louisiana tatted on my face, he said it was a fake tattoo. Maybe next year.





3. Ochocinco and Carson Palmer are like "Brokeback Mountain"
Yeah, he said that. Here...

I know people are trying to say we’re mad at each other and all that, but we’re good,” he told Bengals.com. “We’re like Brokeback Mountain. I’m going to be with Carson so much in July that I’m going to be the nanny [for his new twins].

I wonder if 85 saw that movie. Um, does he not realize that he is the catcher in that relationship? I'm sure he just meant they would ride horses around downtown Cincinnati and kill hobos. That's what cowboys do, right? Either way, Mrs. Palmer made it clear that Ochocinco isn't getting a spare room.

2. Ochocinco wants to fight Mike Golic
Dude is pretty tough behind the keyboard, isn't he? Well, so am I. I'll be announcing my desire to fight Mike Greenberg on my Twitter, right after this post. Anyway, from OchoTwitter...

Oh it's on again, I want to fight Mike Golic now, always got something negative to say, how about this, you've gained all that weight you lost back!!!!

and

Golic If y'all don't shut up I am gonna retire and come take over your damn show, keep it up!!!!

I like this one because it sounds like he's calling out Golic, ESPN, and NutriSystem all at once. I like your style.

1. Ochocinco predicts the Bengals are playoff bound
Ah, blissful delusion. Let's go to the quote...

"It’s going to be a great year; we’re going to the playoffs,” Ochocinco said. “We’re making progress. I mean, I see it, and I can come out on a limb and say what we’re going to do."

Alright, I know it's the NFL and anything can happen. I just don't see the Bengals in the playoffs. Plus (and sadly) I've been reading too many of 85's Tweets and he eats a lot of McDonalds. That'll catch up to you. I can barely make it through a double quarterpounder without a nap.

Let me know if I missed your favorite and keep in mind that there is plenty of time before the season starts.

NHLers Invested Sweet Cash For MLBers Porn Parties

The ever reliable TMZ is reporting that a group of NHL players had their millions swindled for some kick-ass sounding MLB parties...

14 major NHL hockey players are suing a developer named Kenneth Jowdy for allegedly screwing them out of millions of dollars -- and then blowing the cash on escorts, strippers and private jet rides for some of the biggest names in Major League Baseball history.

The money that the NHLers invested was allegedly going to be used to build a luxury golf course and resort. Instead it was used on parties filled with 5-star hotels, jets, porn stars, and strippers. The suit alleges that attendees of said parties included Roger Clemens, Reggie Jackson, Pete Rose, and Joe Morgan. Morgan has already denied the allegations.

I got five that says Jose Canseco was somehow involved and will be naming names in no time. What, they couldn't at least have invited the hockey players to a couple of parties? Hockey players like to drink. They even like strippers.

Look for this story to be on every sports blog ever tomorrow.

[TMZ]

Former Mountain Bike Champ Rolls With 200 Lbs Of Pot

Former mountain bike national title holder (they have that?), Missy "The Missle" Giove, was arrested after authorities seized 200 pounds of marijuana from her truck. Clearly, the professional mountain bike association needs a better pension plan. Or perhaps she was just seeking out something as heartpounding and as exciting as riding her little bike around after retiring.

Giove's coconspirator, Eric Canori, also had 150 pounds of weed and over $1 million in cash seized from his home. No word if he ever rode a bicycle. Giove and Canori are in federal custody and are being charged with conspiracy to distribute 100 kilograms of pot.

Nate Newton nods head in approval.

Stallworth Gets 30...Days

Donte' Stallworth plead guilty to his DUI manslaughter charge in Florida. His deal will net the wide receiver 30 days in jail, 2 years of house arrest, 10 years' probation, and 1000 hours of community service. A haul Stallworth can certainly deal with considering he was looking at 15 years of prison. Of course, Stallowrth also reached a financial agreement with the victim's family. Florio guesses the settlement falls between the $2 to $5 million range.

So after a month in jail, Stallworth can work on his return to dropping balls and getting injured in the NFL. And hey, he only has six years left on his Cleveland sentence...er, contract.

Bryce Harper Opens Door For Delusional Little League Parents

Sports Illustrated cover boy and baseball "Chosen One", Bryce Harper, has decided to drop out of high school and enroll in junior college. This turn of events will allow the 16-year-old phenom catcher to become draft eligible next year instead of 2011 when he would have graduated from high school.

Harper likely would have been the second pick in this year's draft after Stephen Strasburg. Instead, he will likely be the first pick in next year's draft. Which means the Washington Nationals get to negotiate with Scott Boras in back to back years for once-in-a-lifetime prospects. It's amazing how many once-in-a-lifetime prospects Boras manages to represent. He must have some kind of magical factory tucked away in Orange County. Why don't you make a show about that, Bravo? You have to be running out of housewives by now.

What promises to be even more interesting/tragic is just how many parents of superstar little leaguers will follow the Harper Path. Hey Timmy, you're getting Tommy John surgery for your 13th birthday!

Hey Lady, Mike Brown's Corner Won't Hesitate To Elbow Hecklers

Mike Brown retained his WEC title Sunday night against Urijah Faber, but the best strike was thrown during Brown's cage entrance. A guy, apparently charged with the prestigious task of walking behind Mike Brown while holding up his title, took exception with a woman wildly screaming at the champ. Cue up the vicious elbow.



See what happens when you get drunk and lippy, ladies? There's always going to be a guy at the party waiting to give you a shot to the face. While I in no way encourage jackass on female violence, I did have to watch that several dozen times strictly for analytical purposes. Yep, it was an elbow.