Mercker will be a free agent, but as he said, "What kind of market is out there for me?" Then he paused and said, "Well, hey. I'm left-handed, I'm 40 and I'm well-rested."
Mercker has tried to play long toss and throw off the mound, "But my back is not working."
Most likely he is headed for retirement and said, "I'm starting my new profession — turning vodka into urine."
Now I don't know all the details behind this profession, but I think somebody owes me some overtime or a bonus or at least an employee of the year plaque.